All of Her
Every now and then I run out of steam and need a recharge but this time was different. I felt trapped in a deep slump that I needed to claw my way out of. I woke up one day and everything hit me at once: the feeling of being burnt out, feeling guilty because I should be able to "do it all", frustration with myself for feeling unmotivated and like I'm not doing enough when I know I give my all every single day. After releasing some tears (OK—a lot of tears) and sitting with the uneasiness, I began making an effort to move past it. I believe we have the power to change our outlook on a situation and I rely on prayers + positive thinking to persevere. When I am feeling low, I look within and ask myself “what can I do to change this?” This is an absolute process and was not solved overnight, as I type I’m still working through my feelings and making the best effort to push past the negative.
I know that we are all on different paths in life and what may work for me, may not work for you. Just because I am sharing this from a mama point of view doesn’t mean that you can’t find some comfort or restoration in this post. Anyone feeling burnt out with school, a job, a dream, or a relationship? I am only hoping to share my story and relate to others who may be feeling a similar way and remind you that you are not alone, this too shall pass and there is always a way through the darkness.
Here's what worked for me this time around:
1. Identify what it is you want.
This was hard for me. Any time that I am away from my kids I feel guilty. I’ve turned into a person who just doesn’t take time for myself. Not because I am not afforded the opportunity, but because I choose to overlook the fact that I need some alone time. I wanted to feel like myself again and in order to do that I had to do the things that make me feel like me: reading, crafting, writing, listening to music, organizing, planning. I literally sat down and made a list of things that make me happy and am attempting to incorporate them into my days.
2. Spend less time on social media
I don’t log onto Instagram to purposely compare myself to others, but overtime it eventually happens— maybe even subconsciously to an extent. I follow some of these mommy influencers who have perfect outfits, full on hair + makeup, clean homes and children that pose for pictures. I have to stop and remind myself that even if that is in fact their reality, it’s not mine. All of our journeys are different, to compare what we deem as our inadequacies to someone else's curated strengths is soul crushing in any aspect. Comparison is the thief of joy.
3. Stay present and in the moment
When I have my best day with my kids it is because I am completely locked into each moment. Whether Selena is throwing a fit or Sophia is screaming at the top of her lungs for a bottle- I’m in that moment, not wishing it away but being what they need me to be at that time.
4. Change your environment
My anxiety about something happening to my kids can be crippling at times. Maybe I’ve watched too many episodes of Law and Order: SVU and read way too many awful news articles, nonetheless it seems like the world is going crazy and I get scared to leave the house sometimes. I’m getting better with making the effort to continue daily walks and outings with the girls.
5. Expect less but try more
I’ve recently started using my planner to “schedule” tasks. I have to say I am pretty ambitious when it comes to making a to-do list. The day sometimes gets away from me and I think to myself- “what the hell did I do today?” Instead of trying to check things off my list, I do what I can when the opportunity presents itself. When Selena and Sophia are distracted and doing their thing, instead of scrolling through tweets, I jump up and wash bottles, or fold the laundry.
Thanks for reading my blog, I truly hope it has served you. Do you have any tips for getting yourself out of a slump? Comment below and let me know.