My Feels

I really feel like journaling but I have my computer in front of me so I thought I'd seize the moment and focus on what's in front of me + connect here.

Currently the fam and I are hanging in our living room. 

((When I was younger I used to write out the most insane details in my diary because I didn't want to forget the moment I was in ... This feels like that but now I'm writing a blog on the internet so I'll keep those details to myself)).

I'm sticking with the feelings to share.
I feel extremely grateful.

Big whoop right?

But for real...
As much as I would love to say this is my natural state of being 24/7,
I cannot lie--I'm human.
Imperfect but making the effort to choose better.

Reminding myself that my moves are being absorbed by 2 little angel pies and I want to be a good example.

Currently both of my kiddos are sick, which like yeah, it's a cold NBD right? 

Well my former self would be like, "WRONG! Germs?! Why didn't that parent keep their sick kid home??! OMG I'm such a bad mom, I should've had hand sanitizer, anti-bacterial wipes, boogie wipes + saline spray ready to go just in case!" 

I would spiral out of control and work myself into a straight up tizzy.

It wasn't only in instances of germs, it was almost a default reaction to anything uncomfortable that came up.

My anxious thoughts often moved from general worry to the ultimate worst case scenarios that would leave me feeling helpless and scared.

Deep down in my heart I knew it wasn't the truth, but my mind would take me ((so quickly)) to all of these emotionally reactive scenarios that made me feel like there was no way out.

At one point those spirals became way too much to handle.

I'm sure partly due to me giving most of my energy to the parts that were out of my control vs. what I could consciously manage. 

I came to this conclusion; life is going to bring difficult things my way and as much as I would like to be prepared, it doesn't work that way-- It's beyond my control and all I can do is manage my feelings and responses to what comes up.

I want to live life fulfilled, feeling grateful for my blessings

even when things get hard.

I want to show my kids how to handle things by example.

I want to feel in alignment with my best self as much as possible. 

So how did I go about this change?

I made the decision to do the work. 

Here's what that looks like for me:
* I take accountability for my emotions.
* I observe my thoughts without judgement.
*I acknowledge my resistance.
* I examine my patterns + programming. 
* I take time to check in with myself daily.
* I practice staying in the moment.

*I stay open to learning.
* I invest in my self-confidence by keeping the promises I make to myself.
* I connect to my values.

Consciousness is a daily choice.

At first it feels heavy and a little scary-- all new things often do.

The more I practice, the more I grow and the better I become.

The same is possible for you and that's the reason I share my story.

If you connect to this, that's confirmation that you're well on your way into your healing journey and I am grateful to be by your side.

We got this, friend! <3

I'd love to hear from you. Drop me a comment and tell me what's on your mind.

 

 

 

 

1 comment

  • Great blog post! I’m guilty of working myself up in uncomfortable situations all the time. What’s changed is, I no longer let the fear, anxiety, or whatever negative emotion I’m feeling take over. Thanks to you I know how to feel my negative emotions, acknowledge them, and move past them. Your work has been such a crucial guide on my my journey to becoming my best self. You are a true inspiration. I love you so much!

    Michael Gallardo

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